Heartless
by TheAzuraStar
Summary: Rainblossom is a RiverClan warrior. She hunts, she patrols, she fights. She is well-respected and looked up to. She has an apprentice who thinks she's the best mentor in the world. She has started to open up to a certain tom, something she had at first been very reluctant to do...full summary inside. R&R, please!


**I know, I know. I still need to post the newest chapter of Lost, but I started writing this recently, and I just couldn't stop myself. I had to post it.**

**I have a fair amount of this already planned out - updates should come fairly regularly, provided I can find the motivation to write.**

**As for the Lost fans who are reading this, I'll get chapter 7 out as soon as I can! I am really sorry for the delay on that one.**

**Anyway! Read on and enjoy, and don't forget to leave feedback! :D**

**EDIT: So yeah, I made some minor changes to this chapter, mostly at the end. They're hard to miss, so if you can remember what the ending was like the first time around, then you'll notice the differences right away.**

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**~Summary~**

Rainblossom is a RiverClan warrior. She hunts, she patrols, she fights. She is well-respected and looked up to. She has an apprentice who thinks she's the best mentor in the world. She has started to open up to a certain tom, something she had at first been very reluctant to do... but first appearances rarely go deeper than the surface. Rainblossom hides a not-so average secret from her Clanmates, one that could potentially destroy everything she has worked hard to create: moons ago, when she was an apprentice, she used to be in love with a WindClan cat. She doesn't think anyone knows about it, but when a fellow warrior suddenly threatens to reveal her, what will she do to keep the past where it belongs?

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**~Heartless~**

**Prologue**

She had been in love once. She had cared for, and had been cared for. She had lost, and had gained. She had nurtured, and had been nurtured.

Isn't that what love was all about?

Love was when two cats cared deeply for each other, craved the presence and attention of that significant other. They would treasure and respect each other, going out of their way to please the one they loved.

Never would they harm the other, and if they did, they would regret it badly, but be forgiven. Never would the two intentionally do something to hurt one another.

That was what pure, true love was. Love and lovers alike were selfless, caring. Everyone wanted to love. Everyone was in love with the idea itself. It was a magical feeling, all on its own.

Maybe that was why she didn't see the truth until it was too late. Maybe she hadn't wanted to see the truth.

But she had been in love, even if it wasn't returned the way she had hoped.

* * *

Rainpaw waited anxiously by the big oak tree. Her dark gray paws scuffed lightly at the earth, her claws scoring shallow grooves into the soft soil. Strands of grass tickled at her pads, but she ignored the sensation.

It was nighttime, and the moon and stars were out. Silverpelt shone brightly overhead as the gentle breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees. It was peaceful and quiet. Nothing stirred in the undergrowth, all of the prey having gone to their nests long ago.

Perhaps she should have been in her nest as well, but she dismissed that thought with a flick of her ear, a blink of her eye.

The gray she-cat sat with her tail wrapped tightly around her paws, her amber eyes endlessly scanning the bush for any sign of life. She had been there for a while already, growing increasingly nervous with each passing heartbeat that he didn't arrive. He had never kept her waiting so long before. Had something happened?

Impatience had long since given way to nervousness, and now she was beginning to get worried and concerned for him. It wasn't like him to be late for their meetings, and she couldn't help but wonder if his brother had finally found out about their secret visits, and was preventing the cat she loved from coming to see her.

The thought chilled her. She knew that Copperheart's brother had quite the temper to him. She wouldn't doubt for a moment that he might turn on his brother if he got angry enough. She hoped the reddish tabby tom was safe and unharmed. She didn't know what she would do if something horrible befell him.

More time passed. Copperheart didn't appear. Now she knew something wasn't right. She could feel it deep in her bones. She shifted, trying to dispel the nagging feeling she was getting. Something was telling her to turn around and go back to camp. But she had to see Copperheart first! She couldn't just leave, especially if her gut was wrong and he was just running extremely late.

But after another hour of waiting – which felt like an eternity – Rainpaw was growing tired. She needed her sleep. But before she could decide whether she was going to leave or stay and wait even longer, the ferns in front of her suddenly shook, and then parted, revealing a cat. The very cat she had been anticipating since she had first gotten here.

The tom's fur was sleek and well groomed like it always was. Even in the meager light the moon and stars cast, Rainpaw could make out the rich dark red of his pelt, and some of the more prominent dark tabby stripes that slashed through the fur like claws marks.

He wasn't exactly muscular like some tom-cats she knew, but he wasn't skinny, either. He had that lean, swift build, the one that was common among his Clanmates and was what WindClan cats were known for. He was tall. His legs were long and powerful, and she knew that he was one of the fastest cats in his Clan.

Another feature about him was his tail. Copperheart had an unusually long tail, and while his fur was quite short, his tail was bushy. One of the easiest ways to identify him when he was running at full pelt was by the plume of his long tail. It was hard to miss.

But what Rainpaw loved most about the WindClan cat was his eyes. They were like new spring grass, bright and sharp. They were piercing, able to see right into a cat's soul. They were dazzling and mesmerizing, and normally cold. But not when he looked at her. When Copperheart looked at her, they were warm and affectionate, two deep pools of endless green. She loved getting lost in them.

Copperheart was her love, and her best friend. She would give up the anything for him in a heartbeat, even her own life. He was her everything.

But when she looked into his eyes right now, she immediately could tell something was amiss. His eyes were hard and frosty, frozen over. There was no warmth, no affection. There was nothing, no emotion at all.

It scared Rainpaw, to see that lack of feeling in the cat she loved. Her gut feeling had been right. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know what had caused the sudden apathy in his gaze as he looked at her.

But she had to ask, had to say something to him.

"Copperheart? Is everything alright?" Her voice sounded small and uncertain even to her own ears. She hoped he wasn't able to tell how nervous and unsettled she was.

If it was possible, the reddish-furred tom's eyes grew even colder at her words. They were piercing, staring. They looked almost accusing. She had to resist the sudden strong urge to flinch away from the unfriendly look.

"I could be better," Copperheart finally responded, his voice as hard as his expression. "That's why I came to see you."

Rainpaw felt a surge of hope. Maybe he had come hoping she could cheer him up? That had to be it…she couldn't think of anything else.

"What can I do?" She asked him, letting the eagerness and relief show in her voice. She'd do anything to help the cat she was in love with.

Copperheart just stared at her for a long while with that cold and piercing look, betraying no emotion to her. Rainpaw began to grow uneasy again.

Then he spoke again, and his voice was the coldest she'd heard it yet.

"You can stop coming here to see me every night." Copperheart's eyes were merciless as they glared her down. He still kept that emotionless look in place, even after his harsh words.

It was not was Rainpaw was expecting from him, not what she had wanted to hear. She stood there, gazing up at him with wide disbelieving eyes. She hadn't fully comprehended what he had just said to her yet.

And then her eyes clouded with hurt, and a light tremble passed through her body. He couldn't really mean that, could he? He had to be playing with her, testing her. There's no way that he could mean that he wanted her to…stop seeing him. It was inconceivable. It wasn't possible. Copperheart had to be messing with her. He had to be.

"That's…that's really funny, Copperheart," she meowed shakily, trying to sound amused. "You got me. Now what did you really mean?"

Those words seemed to cause something to break in the WindClan tom. He lost his cool, and glared down at her with unmistakable anger. She shied away from him.

"Great StarClan, are you really this dense?" He snapped at her, "I don't want to see you anymore, Rainpaw. Get that through your head. Don't come here anymore, because I won't be here. It's over."

Rainpaw's world stood still. It felt like time had stopped. The she-cat's eyes were wide and staring, filled with agony and confusion as she looked up at the cat she still loved, even after what he had just told her.

"But…but why?" She mumbled in a quiet, hurt voice. "Did I do something wrong?" She flattened herself down against the cool earth, not risking standing. Her legs suddenly didn't feel like they could support her weight anymore.

Copperheart heaved a heavy sigh. "You're not the cat I want anymore, Rainpaw," the words cut through the young she-cat like badger fangs, "There are smarter, prettier she-cats in my own Clan who can give me what I want without having to sneak around every night in secret."

Rainpaw flinched, wanting to curl up and die. "So I'm not good enough for you, is that what you're telling me, Copperheart?" It hurt just to say it out loud.

But that pain intensified even more when the reddish tabby tom nodded his head at her words. "It was fun in the beginning," he told her, "but everything gets boring at some point. You're no exception."

So that's all it ever was to him?! Just a game? What about all of the memorable times they had together? All of the affectionate looks? The times when he had said "I love you"? Was that all just lies? Had he been fooling her all along, from the very beginning?

There was no remorse, no regret in his expression. He looked just as blank as ever. He felt nothing, wasn't bothered at all by any of this.

And it was this that made her really lose her cool.

The feeling of hurt and betrayal faded as Rainpaw's blood boiled beneath her fur. She couldn't believe this! All of the wasted days and nights with him…she'd never get those back! All of the times she had declared her love for him, it was all wasted words! Pointless and useless. She'd been so stupid. She should have seen it sooner. But as they say, love is blind; she'd either been too enamored with him to care about what he really felt beneath the surface, or she had just not been paying attention when she should have been.

Either way, it didn't change the fact that she'd allowed herself to be misled by his false declarations of love and affection. And he didn't even feel bad for any of it.

"Well, it's nice to know where I stood in your life these past two moons, Copperheart," Rainpaw shot the words at him with venom in her tone. She was so angry, so ashamed of herself. She should have never let herself fall for him. "I was just a game this entire time, wasn't I? Now you're bored with me, and will soon move on to another she-cat, isn't that right?"

Copperheart barely batted an eye at her accusing words. "I thought you knew all along what I was doing," he meowed curtly, "but perhaps I shouldn't have. You're only an apprentice, after all. You're naïve."

Rainpaw wanted to fire back at him that he wasn't much older than she was. He was her senior by only about three moons, and at one point, they had both been apprentices together at the same time. She also wanted to tell him that she was almost a warrior herself, and that her final assessment was coming up in just a day or two.

But she kept both of these things to herself. She knew from experience that arguing with Copperheart was pointless. He had a way of twisting words around and making a cat feel mouse-brained for ever opening their mouth in the first place.

So instead, she just agreed with him, already tired of this. "Maybe I am naïve," she growled at him, "but you're heartless."

She glared up into his green eyes, resisting the urge to be pulled into them. Even when they were as cold as ice they were captivating to her. She hated it.

Copperheart shrugged. "I'm not the one who fell head over heels in love," he meowed to her nonchalantly, "you only have yourself to blame."

Rainpaw's fur bristled. How dare he even suggest that she was the only one who was at fault! "You lead me on!" She snarled in sheer rage, not even making an effort to keep her voice down. Copperheart's eyes widened in surprise – it wasn't like her to get angry, not like this. He wasn't used to outbursts like this from her.

"It's just as much your fault as it is mine, if not more so! You could see how I felt about you, I know you could! I didn't even need to say it out loud! But that didn't matter, did it? You didn't care, not one bit! You just kept going along, feeding me lie after lie!"

Copperheart opened his jaws to say something, but Rainpaw wasn't done. She was angry; she had things to say to him. And he was going to wait until she was done, or so help her StarClan, she was going to shred his ears, one right after the other.

"There's nothing you can say to defend yourself, because you know I'm right! You're a cruel, heartless cat, and I hope you never find the one, because you won't deserve her!" Rainpaw was panting hard as she glared up at Copperheart. She had long risen to her paws, anger compelling her to stand at her full height.

"I hate you," Rainpaw hissed at last, "I hate you, and I hope you never forget what you did. I hope it haunts you for the rest of your life. I hope that every time you look across the river," she curled her lip, leaning in toward the tom so she could growl in his face, "you're reminded of me."

Copperheart had gone still. His eyes stared at her, swimming with anger and some emotion she couldn't read. She didn't' care to read it, either. She didn't want to understand. She didn't want to know.

"Rainpaw…" he meowed, voice tight.

"Don't talk to me," she growled hotly, "I loved you. I still do. But I'm not going to stick around and beg you to feel the same. Because I know you never will. You're right. It's over. I'm just as done with this as you are. Goodbye, Copperheart. I wish you a life of heartache and misery, to match what mine has just become."

And with that final parting, Rainpaw turned and stalked away from the cat that had up until a few moments ago, had been her life and her soul. She didn't look back once. She told herself he didn't deserve her attention. Not anymore.

And not ever again.

She would put Copperheart and her love for him behind her. As of that moment, he was her past. Never again would she see him as a part of her future. Not after this. Not after he had just tore out her heart and shred it to pieces in front of her own two eyes.

Love was lost. Copperheart was a fox-hearted mouse-brain. She should have known better.

As a wise old elder once told her as a kit; "There's a reason why romance between cats of different Clans is highly discouraged. Never forget that forbidden relationships can't ever have happy endings."

It was uncanny how much those words rang true for her at that moment.

She felt dumb now; even after receiving that warning, she still went ahead and fell in love with Copperheart.

She should have listened to that elder; maybe she wouldn't be in this situation if she had.

She should have known things wouldn't last; she had been much too happy. It had been too good to be true.

Good things don't stick around forever; whether they were truly good or merely an illusion one wanted to believe in didn't matter. They would shatter into pieces at the end all the same.

Rainpaw understood that now more than ever.

And she vowed to never make the mistake of falling heart first into love again.

* * *

She had been in love once, but that had been a long time ago.


End file.
